Dear Zed 12/1/23

If you have a question for Zed, please email dearzed@shamblingbraineaters.com.

Suffering insults:

Dear Zed,

There is an individual in my "social circle" who is a real prick. I typically wouldn't associate with him but unfortunately I can't just avoid him. At least not with out sacrificing other friendships I truly value. How can I rid myself of this fool without alienating the rest of my friends? Insults I can tolerate. However, lately he has transcended mere insults into indirect threats not only to my person but my reputation.

Monty

Monty:

You're acquaintance isn't a wine aficionado by any chance? I'm just going to be honest, this type of thing isn't really my forte. Any advice I might provide would be both illegal and possibly immoral.

Changes:

Zed,

About 6 months ago, my fiance went to England for a couple of weeks on a work trip. Ever since he got home something has changed. Before he left, he was mostly a vegetarian. He suffers from some stomach issues and too much meat aggravates them. But ever since he's come back, he just can't seem to get enough red meat. He wants steak or burgers or something like that every night for dinner. Don't get me wrong, I'm OK with the dietary changes. I've always been an omnivore but followed his diet out of respect.

However, the changes in meal planning aren't what concerns me.

Where to start? His grooming habits have changed. He used to be clean shaven but he came home with a full beard. I admit, the rugged "lumberjack" look is more than a little bit of a turn on. And where he used to be fairly vanilla (but not without skill) in bed... now he's an absolute animal. Like I walk funny the next day... Maybe that is an overshare. For the most part, the changes aren't "bad". For the most part....

Since he came home, he has been obsessed with astronomy. Which is fine. He's always been a bit of a geek. But no matter what the weather conditions, he always goes out on the full moon nights. Even when it is overcast and raining. This seems suspicious to me. I don't believe he's cheating on me. If he was cheating, he would be stepping out more often than 3 nights a month. And I am trying to respect his privacy. But I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me.

How can I get him to open up to me?

Charlotte

Charlotte:

I'm going to agree with your assessment that he most likely isn't cheating. I definitely don't think this is something to cancel the wedding over. Not that you insinuated as much. Just throwing it out there. You didn't mention it, but I'd be willing to wager a few doubloons of questionable origin that he also came home with a new scar. Probably on his arm or leg. Most likely he says a dog bit him.

My advice would be to just give him his space. Accept the changes, both the good and not so great. Things will be fine. Or they won't. I'm not exactly a romance specialist.

Until next time, stay groovy.